My brother asked me if I would watch his family fish “Pigwidgeon” while they traveled to San Diego for a week or so. I thought it would be no problem; how hard can it be to care for a fish?
So after a brief set of instructions (that rivaled the manual for the space station), we put Pigwidgeon in the car and started off home.
Little did I know he would be so quiet. I figured it was just nerves. But sure enough, when we got through the door, he wanted to look at my theology books. He’s been perusing this particular section for some time now. I think he’s a fan of Teresa of Avila.
At 10:00, I told him it was getting late and it was bedtime. I pointed him to our bedroom and let him know that if he needed blanket, he should come get us. I hope he gets a good night sleep.
Look Pigwidgeon has already made a friend with Eve. But since we don’t allow co-ed sleep overs, they will have to sleep in separate rooms.
I think the apocalypse must have come. My family has left and some strange humans have taken their place. I was forced into a moving shuttle and thought my end had come as I struggled to not fly out of my lair. No matter. I will not be done in by these simpletons. I’m still not sure what their intent is: perhaps they are planning on making me their lunch. I’ve heard the price of sushi has been skyrocketing lately. There are also other natives here that seem suspect. There is one especially furry being that seems to have malice in its eyes. I will have to continue practicing my attack routines so that I am prepared for anything. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!
To add suffering to my new predicament, the male of the species placed me on a shelf near his books. Though I admit I am tempted by that Avila woman’s beauty, I scoff at his choice of material to study. HA! I was reading these as a guppy! But where are the real scholarly works, I ask? Moby Dick; Twenty-Thousand Leagues Under the Sea; Poseidon’s Adventure; Red Fish, Blue Fish, One Fish, Two Fish . . . these are the real treasures of the written word.
I sign off for now. I will sleep with one eye open tonight as I do what I do every day: plan to take over the world.