10 Things I Wish More Parishioners Would Say

by jpserrano on June 19, 2013 · 17 comments

Rachel Held Evans posted on her blog a wonderful article, 11 Things I Wish More Pastors Would Say.  As a Pastor in training, I think the flip side of the coin is also important.  Here are 10 Things I Wish More Parishioners Would Say in no particular order.

  1. “Take some time off, we can handle it around here.”
  2. “I pray for you daily” (And actually does it).
  3. “Can I take you out to lunch?”
  4. “I didn’t understand your sermon or I liked this specific part of your sermon.” (I usually get “good sermon” which is unhelpful).
  5. “How can I serve in worship?”
  6. “What needs to get done around here?” (And actually gets it done).
  7. “What ministry needs the most help?”
  8. “Use my cabin to get away.”
  9. “Wasn’t it great that we had children running around in worship today.”
  10.  “You don’t need to go to all the committee meetings.”

Pastors: What would you add to the list? What is something you have heard that was life giving? What is not helpful?

Non-Pastors: How do you encourage your pastor? How do you support him/her?

-jpserrano 

{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

Laura Johnson June 19, 2013 at 1:32 pm

“you are allowed to be a real person.” I’m an elder… and this is what I say to my pastor.

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jpserrano June 19, 2013 at 3:40 pm

I appreciate this comment. I think Pastors often feel like they can be a “real person”

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David Vernon June 19, 2013 at 2:23 pm

1.a) “We’re not paying you nearly enough for all the hours you are putting in. Please accept this raise along with our appreciation.”

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jpserrano June 19, 2013 at 3:40 pm

One can always dream.=)

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Debra June 19, 2013 at 2:40 pm

“We value your family, you need one Sunday a month to worship with your husband” (I’m half of a clergy couple, and my husband and I serve at different churches. As I was negotiating my call, this was said to me. It was incredibly life giving, and continues to be!)

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jpserrano June 19, 2013 at 3:41 pm

What a wonderful gift to get from a congregation. I can only pray that I will have similar experiences during my negotiations.

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brettfish June 19, 2013 at 4:19 pm

I LOVE number 9 – there is definitely a balance cos it can be completely distractive and maybe destructive but once the congregation embraces the noises and interjections and messiness of little children it can be an incredible thing – i love messy church! nice list!

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jpserrano June 19, 2013 at 4:59 pm

Brett, you may like this post on Children in Church. Thanks for your feedback.

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brettfish June 19, 2013 at 5:41 pm

Ah, you were correct, what an excellent post – thank you.Is there any way I could reblog this on my blog with links back to yours. Because I really think it is an important piece and my readers would benefit from the engagement. Thankx a lot. b

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jpserrano June 19, 2013 at 5:46 pm

Please do.

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brettfish June 19, 2013 at 5:51 pm

ah thank you so much!

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pastorlizp June 19, 2013 at 4:39 pm

12. I visited xxx in the hospital today, Pastor, and prayed with them. I’ll let you know if there is any change

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jpserrano June 19, 2013 at 4:56 pm

YES!!!!!! We have a couple who visits everyone on our list. I am thankful for them.

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Scott Johnson June 19, 2013 at 6:41 pm

“I’m concerned about the new program you’re proposing, Pastor. Can I share my concerns with you in a rational, dispassionate way rather than threatening to leave if you don’t do it exactly the way I want?”

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jpserrano June 19, 2013 at 7:14 pm

Indeed!

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Rett Haselden June 21, 2013 at 9:00 am

This is what I am passionate about, these are my talents, these are my gifts. How can I serve?

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jpserrano June 21, 2013 at 10:12 am

If I had one person say this to me a year, it would knock my socks off.

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