Kate Bassford Baker wrote an excellent article asking other parent Please Don’t Help My Kids. Her article begins with..
Dear Other Parents At The Park:
Please do not lift my daughters to the top of the ladder, especially after you’ve just heard me tell them I wasn’t going to do it for them and encourage them to try it themselves.
I am not sitting here, 15 whole feet away from my kids, because I am too lazy to get up. I am sitting here because I didn’t bring them to the park so they could learn how to manipulate others into doing the hard work for them. I brought them here so they could learn to do it themselves.
There is just so much that agree with, that you should read the article yourself.
My parenting style is pretty “hands off.” I encourage my children try something multiple times before I help them. I ask them to go back and search for at least 15min before I get up and find it for them. Don’t think of me as ultimate enabler, part of this is laziness…. but a larger part is that I want my children to learn how to do things for themselves. I don’t want to have them think that someone is going to jump to their aid every time they get in a pinch. I want them to be able to keep their head and figure out how to get out of whatever predicament their in.
I guess what I am trying to say is “I’m a bench sitter too.”
Read the article.
-jpserrano