“Lord my God, if I have done this and there is guilt on my hands—if I have repaid my ally with evil or without cause have robbed my foe—then let my enemy pursue and overtake me; let him trample my life to the ground and make me sleep in the dust.” (Psalm 7:3-5, NRSV)
Radical reflection is a difficult thing. It requires that we examine the recesses of our soul, shine light into the unlit crevices in our hearts, and be willing to dust off what we have conveniently and some times necessarily tucked away.
We all have instances that haunt us. In the best case we misspoke a word or had miscommunication, but still that interaction spawns some brokeness within us. Or worse we didn’t do right by someone else through our action or inaction so guilt and shame get their claws in us.
Radical reflection allows us to bring to the surface those things that we need to let go. The only way to wholeness is to confess them to God, receive forgiveness, and if we intentionally hurt others, change our ways.
But Radical reflection also allows us to stand confidently when we have done nothing wrong.
There is a story in the Old Testament about David. He is being pursued by Saul and in a move of tactical brilliance David secretly cuts the corner of Saul’s robe. When Saul comes to kill him, David shows Saul the corner of the Robe to let him know that if he had wanted, he could have killed Saul. David had the chance to end Saul’s life, the cloth was proof. Then David says, “May the LORD be our judge and decide between us” (1 Samuel 24:15, NRSV). David is so confident that he has done nothing wrong, he brings God into it, which is always a dangerous thing and ask that God would choose who was righteous.
The Psalmist here is doing a similar thing, he is confident that he didn’t sin, he is asking for God’s righteous judgement. The psalmist is so sure that he’s right he is willing to take any punishment if he’s wrong.
The only way to have the kind of confidence is to know oneself deeply through regularly examining our lives. If we never do this, then we may fall into the trap of thinking that we are blameless, and every poor, awkward, or contentious encounter is the other persons fault.
Radical Reflection is muscle that needs to be used or it will atrophy. St. Ignatius defined a five step process to help a person examine themselves daily. If you undertake this process you will not be disappointed.
These steps should be done in silence and reverence.
1. Become aware of God’s presence in the moment.
2. Review your day with gratitude.
3. Pay attention to your emotions.
4. Choose one moment of the day when you fell short, and offer it to God.
5. Look toward tomorrow.
By doing this examine on a regular basis you are conducting Radical Reflection. You know yourself better and interact with those around you in a way that contributes to the Shalom of the world.
-jpserrano